May 18, 2011

Honestly, Be Honest

For the last few days I've been going over stories in my head about my grandpa, kind of tumbling them together so they stay in a nice ball I can find when I need them.

There are traits I take from/shared with my grandpa. Namely, honesty. Not "Yes teacher, I stole that pencil from Jimmy" (though he would have approved of being honest in that situation), but rather just being honest with people and yourself.

For example, at some point during college my grandparents were visiting for Christmas. My mom had picked up some mint chocolate chips at my request (for you non-bakers, they are only available at the holidays.) I just made the basic Nestle Tollhouse recipe and subbed in the mint chips. Knowing my grandfather liked sweets, I asked him what he thought when he ate one. He said it was okay, not great and would have been better if the cookie itself had been chocolate.

Boom, honesty.

It kind of hurt my feelings at the time (because I was young and used to praise), but hell, I much prefer that type of honesty because he was right, they weren't that good.

I've always craved honesty in personal interactions. I like the truth, don't favor sugarcoating and especially did not like as a child, or other, when people made the decision to keep the facts from me. I can/could often tell when people are/were lying to me or holding back. Seriously folks, I'm strong, I can handle it.  I'd rather not build an elaborate idea of what a situation is, when its really something else.

You aren't doing friends, family, coworkers or even the establishments you frequent any favors if you aren't honest with them. I work on being honest with myself all the time and if I've learned anything, its good to be honest about:
  • Your feelings
  • When other people hurt you
  • Your shortcomings, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem
  • Expectations of people, situations and experiences
  • Your opinion, if someone wants it (No, I don't think that skirt is flattering. Yes, I think Matt is an idiot.)
  • What you want from your life, job, significant other, etc.
  • Who you really are
I've been accused by those close to me as being mean when I am honest. Not my intention. I'm being honest because I care.

2 comments:

Jillian Frances said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grand-father. I think it was a good lesson to learn from someone who loves you unconditionally. I always appreciate with people who are honest with me when I ask them to be.

Lisa Lavia Ryan said...

I agree, and I find that when honesty is offered with genuine warmth and concern, it's more easily accepted. Your grandpa sounds a lot like my dad, but your grandpa was probably a little smoother about being honest! :)